As I’m sure any regular readers will know but the game I have been most looking forward to all year is finally here. It’s in our Xbox’s and our Computers, ruining relationships, destroying social activity time and getting people sacked from their day jobs. The last week has flown by in a blur of dragon attacks and fire spells. Anyone who has ever played Tetris for more then an hour will know that video games slowly creep into our real lives.
I remember working out whether my desk at work would completely fit together with my filing cabernet if I turned it 90 degrees on its horizontal axis… unfortunately it wouldn’t. So what signs are there to tell you that you’ve played Skyrim for too long?
1) When a dog runs towards you and your first thought is 'kill it with fire'.
2) You try to Fast Travel to work
3) If you don't have a lighter, you resort to shouting 'BOOSH' at your cigarette.
4) You start walking into the leather shop down the road and hop the counter for a go yourself
5) You put flowers, dust and nails into you lunchtime meal and note down its effects on your health
6) You walk away from people mid-sentence when you find out they haven't got anything interesting to say or sell
7) Once you've made friends with someone, you're positive you can take all their possessions without being accused of stealing.
8) You try to place a basket on the head of the corner shop owner so you can steal a bunch of flowers for your alchemy practice
9) When you go for a run and get knackered after just a few metres, you assume it's because you're wearing the wrong necklace.
10) When you ask that shady looking fellow what his prices are on Skooma
11) When something's too heavy to carry, you start stripping off clothes to see if that helps.
12) When no-one's around, you wander around carefully to increase your stealth skill, really your hoping someone is around and unaware that you're sneaking around them.
13) You only glance at the first page of every book you find, certain that any useful knowledge in the other pages will be automatically absorbed by your mind.
14) If you see a dead rat or badger, you check the carcass for money and cut off its tail, pelt and pull out its teeth to sell at your local greengrocers
15) You look above you every time you hear a dragon in the sky.
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