When....

Every single game these days has it’s downfalls; Arkham Asylum had it’s terrible finale, Metal Gear Solid has Raiden, Halo 2 has the Arbiter and COD has the Elite Membership. Lets face it most games have an issue or two and below I’m going to outline some of my biggest gripes.

1. When people who aren’t snipers spawn in your bushes on Battlefield 3

I’ve been here for 5 minutes killing people, why did you feel the need to show everyone where I am?

2. When you slide through a crevice in Mirror's Edge and stop halfway

 I was running poetry-in-motion a second ago - now I'm just a dickhead trying to be Solid Snake.

3. When you pick a dialogue option in Mass Effect and the actual response is different

But I thought I was saving his life not giving him a bog wash until hes accidentally drowned

4. When the game checkpoints before a big cutscene, but not after – I’m looking at you Lost Odyssey

60 minutes ago I was enjoying this entertaining story set-piece but after failing to beat this boss I’ve got to sit through it again. You aren’t Lord of the Rings and I’m not interested in your extended edition.

5. When everybody else on your Halo team thinks their a star player

Bungies bots stand up perfectly well in multiplayer as long as your team has no perception of team gaming.

6. When you swing into the air in Left for Dead

I know I hit you... flinch dammit!
 

7. When you remember your Deus Ex inventory isn't big enough

I want these bullets to shoot more enemies but you’ve stopped me because I have one too many health packs. My gun is empty so these won’t even be in my inventory I’ll put them in the gun straight away

8. When you're knocked off a wall by a rock in Assassin's Creed

I don’t know why one guard feels the need to take you down when you’ve just killed 20 of his friends, 4 of his brothers, his father and his son…. Oh wait he thinks he can do better now he has a bad case of ‘revenge’

9. When the world's completely non-interactive

Rage looks lovely but I can’t create a trolley launcher or pick up that expensive looking vinyl.

10. When two things that should combine, won't combine in Dead Rising 2

You'll let us tape a machete to a broomstick, but you won't let us do the same with any other kind of knife.

11. When impressive-looking attacks have unimpressive consequences

I’m talking about you Final Fantasy – yes your summons look lovely but if you can’t take down a Flan how do you think my sword will fare.

12. When the game "does a Flood"

Here are two completely compatible statements: (1) Halo has the best enemy design of any FPS ever, and (2) Halo has the worst enemy design of any FPS ever.

13. When your AI partners kill everybody while you're working out a strategy

I'm trying to get my teeth into these tactical nuances, guys. Stop being so bloody efficient. I didn't pay for this game so you could work on your K/D ratio.

14. When you fire up a new game and there's an Xbox Live update

Oh Battlefield 3 why do I have to wait 20 minutes to play something I brought less then 5 minutes ago on day release.

15. When you rip a boss to pieces... and he beats you in a cutscene

Thank you for beating me Mr Bossman even though I just made you look like a fool. Where you just playing your cards close to your chest.

That’s it rant over….!!!!!